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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
Kannon's LiveJournal:
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| Monday, March 16th, 2009 | | 6:03 pm |
Like, I want to commemorate the anniversaRy of the death of Washington's favorite daughter, Rachel CoRRie.  I thought it was like, too cool that she went over to Gaza and to stop the destRuction of tunnels used to smuggle in weapons from Egypt for teRRoRists! Who knows, maybe the tunnels bRought in aRt equipment too! So many Palestinians contRibute so much to the woRld cultuRe in aRt. Why, theRe's...well, I'm suRe they bodypaint sometimes. Muslims have coed nude camps wheRe I can bodypaint and rub my Goddess Hole on a man's fleshy sphere in fRont of childRen, right? Oh. Rachel made heR own AmeRican flag and buRned it while teaching Palestinian children to sing anti-American songs! So aRtistic, like BuRning Man or something. But wait, that's not all! To top off her genius, she knelt in fRont of massive bulldozers with obstRucted windows! I guess that paRt of the peRfoRmance aRt didn't go so well.  I shall pay tribute to Rachel by painting my body with an AmeRican flag, setting myself on fiRe, and kneeling in front of a Seattle MetRo bus! Go me! | | Sunday, January 11th, 2009 | | 8:13 pm |
Like, I was walking along Seattle’s Capitol Hill today and saw a bunch of those pro-IsRael types outside one of those Jewish chuRches or whatever those aRe called.  Like, IsRael is so mean, ya know, doing stuff like sending Gaza 80 or 90 food and medicine trucks everyday. I dunno if Hamas sends IsRael any chocolate oR whateveR they gRow over there. Rice? Pork? Whatever. Here is my impoRtant message to the IsRaeli ARmy: "You have no right to exist! Stop defending youRselves!” So, like, I was so upset looking at those pro-IsRael people I did what any reasonable, peace-loving person would do. I launched bottle rockets out of my Goddess Hole at them!  Then the King County police handcuffed me! Looking at my exposed Goddess Hole, one of the po-pos said, "You should stay out of politics and stick to what you do best—showing your gaping vaggie to all 23 of your faithful viewers on public access television!" Then the county pigs took me to jail! Figures it's called KING County, since it’s such a patRiaRchal monaRchy, unlike the egalitarian democracies of the Arab world! I know they busted me because AmeRica is a ZOO: a Zionist Occupied OligaRchy! Dammit, and it hasn’t even been a year since I had to go to couRt over stalking that woman. One thing's for sure, my right to defend my aRtistic expression is too impoRtant for some legal aid inteRn. I should hire one of those big guys like that Robert Shapiro guy. He’s not Jewish, is he?  Send money for my legal defense. Jihad! | | Saturday, November 15th, 2008 | | 10:07 am |
SoRRy I haven’t been around lately. Had to lay low after getting hauled into King County SupeRior Court in March on a harassment accusation. Can you believe they disrespected the aRtist and public access star like that? It's just like those mean cheerleaders in 9th grade who hated me only because I'm so cReative. I’d bet the court case number, 08-2-01357-0 is sacred numeRology for “misundeRstood genius”. In otheR news, once again I made the woRld a betteR place with my aRt. On Thursday night, I went to the Seattle Parks commissioners meeting on whether nudity should be banned at local parks and for World Naked Bike Ride.  I showed up at the meeting naked, body-painted with pseudo-Native American symbols, because I think imitating Natives makes me seem deep. When it was my turn to speak, my good nudist pal Samuel Johnson and I stood in front of the Council members and did our signatuRe move: I rubbed my labia against Samuel’s Johnson, in a non-sexual way. Too bad there weren’t any childRen to watch us like last time. As usual, our nudist leader, Stark Morey, just looked on and called us “Fabulous!” I guess the commissioners were really impressed, because they just sat there with their mouths agape. All my hoRny 35-year-old male fans came out and took photos to put on my poRn site, just like they do at WoRld Naked Bike Ride. Our act was a success, and Seattle parks will continue to have nudity! I hope Samuel Johnson bRings out more of his pothead polyamoRy pals from the Wet Spot! I just can’t imagine why these pRudish taxpayeRs in Seattle wouldn’t want people like us aRound their children at the public parks. Way to go, Seattle PaRks!  | | Thursday, August 28th, 2008 | | 4:29 pm |
I love CRitical Massive!
Greetings from sunny Lake Bronson Nudist ResoRt in Sultan, Washington! I’m here attending the CRitical Massive aRt festival. Shhhhh, don’t tell anyone we’re here. We couldn’t get a permit from the county because the neighbors were pissed that about all the litter, discarded drug paraphernalia, noise and gridlock last year. Whatevah….Those stuffy neighbors just don’t know aRt. As soon as I arrived last night, I met up with my old pal, Stan-O, and my old shag, Mountain SpRing, then sucked down a spaceball to enhance my aRtistic mood. I didn’t know what to expect heRe, but I never would have guessed that something I’d always been so afraid of would bring about such a positive change in my outlook, as I took a little heaRt-shaped pill that changed my life! I took it among a group of friends that I trusted deeply, in a naked environment that I felt was appRopriate for the experience. What followed was a night that blew away all expectations and opened my eyes to a new state of mind I never knew existed. To highlight our newfound enlightenment, we each quickly placed three clothespins on our nipples.  Then we all cuddled, chatted, and giggled. Stan-O and I couldn’t keep our hands and lips off of each other, but it was all completely platonic. Somehow, he woRked his fingers down my pants and into my Goddess Hole. It felt amazing. It was about this time that Mountain Spring joined us. Stan-O removed his hand from my pants and let Mountain Spring smell his fingers. What might usually seem like high school boasting became something extremely aRtistic! I giggled shyly as Stan-O slid his fingers into Mountain Spring’s mouth, letting him taste me. They bent me over and took turns engulfing their manly rods in my Moon Tunnel, at the same time! It was all so spiRitual, in a non-sexual way. Will shaRe more later, but must put on my strap-on and attend the “shiRt-cocking” event now! Ciao! | | Sunday, December 16th, 2007 | | 4:30 pm |
Desperate Kannon!
YesteRday, I heaRd that the Hollywood writers had been on strike since NovembeR. Now that I live at the Clampett mansion in BeveRly Hills, I knew that if the local economy went in the toilet I'd have fewer people to buy me tickets to EuRope and weekend retReats, I mean, suppoRt my impoRtant woRk. Just like I ended the Boeing strike when I lived in Seattle, I could end these writers’ silly demands for fair compensation.  So, I hitchhiked to Studio City to try to reason with those dowdy little strikers. They weRe all acting, like, really negative and stuff and I knew their little tiff would dRag on if I didn't cheer them up. Their red-and-white signs seemed a little dRab, saying something like, "WRITERS ON STRIKE" or whatever. So bland! I keep foRgetting that not eveRyone is aRtistically inclined like me! So, I stripped naked, and with my labia rubbed my menstrual juices on their signs, in a non-sexual way. I knew I was really making them think because they all stood theRe staRing blankly, mouths agape! Alas, after a few minutes they continued their silly chants and maRching in ciRcles and stuff. Then, EuReka, California! As the 15-year public access cable TV and Live Journal star I am, I figuRed I could get some woRk the writers weRen’t doing, rehashing my cliché themes! Yeah, I know, some of you bitches would call me a scab. I call it recycling and being the oppoRtunistic Goddess I am! I found the Desperate Housewives writers and told them, “I’m going to write that Desperate Housewives show while you’re all striking! Gabrielle Solis will paint her naked body green and rub her labia against Orson Hodge’s penis in a non-sexual, artistic way, and dowdy Bree won’t like it because she doesn’t appreciate real art! Then Lynette will stare into the camera for a half-hour and talk about being a woman, ending with pulling a used tampon out of her vagina. Edie Britt will take out-of-focus photos of herself in mirrors every other day. Oh, and Susan and Mike will threaten suicide and beg people for money!” They all hung their heads low after hearing about my changes, probably jealous of my talent. They stood in stunned silence as I told them I was going to shaRe moRe of my talents with even more shows until the strike was oveR. I guess they really appReciated knowing that I would spend so much of my valuable time to improve their show! Finally, they all filed inside the union hall as I played the black keys on a Casio keyboard that just happened to be sitting around. Ten minutes later, they announced that the strike was oveR! I ensured my meal ticket would continue, I mean, Los Angeles would have a prosperous Christmas. See? My aRt, ya know, has a purpose! Namaste! Send money! | | Friday, November 30th, 2007 | | 11:12 pm |
| | Sunday, November 25th, 2007 | | 3:12 pm |
Kan'non loves Hawai'i!
Aloha! I have returned from my ancestral homeland, Hawai'i, on my pilgrimage to honor my aRtistic spiRit bRother, the late DON HO! I know I was Hawai'ian in another life. As I have blatheRed befoRe, I feel an spiRitual, aRtistic connection to Don, just like I feel to Madonna, Tori Amos, Tom Petty, Joan Jett, Paris Hilton, and of course, Screech from Saved by the Bell! Tiiiiiiiiny Bubbles! I was told by my new Hawai'ian friend, PupuPiPi, about the extent of Don Ho's wild druggie times. I am devastated you white devils influenced him with your toxic ways!  In memory of the HO, I straddled the NanaHOa Rock with my Goddess HOle!  Anyhoo, while in Hawai'i learned some important information about the motherland to share with you howlies! * Stores in Hawai'i accept American money! * Whitey bad! * People in Hawai'i can speak American! * Whitey very bad! * Hawai'ians just love it when you reference Hawai'i Five-O! * Whitey very, very bad! * There are islands near Hawai'i, and they think they're Hawai'i too! I enjoyed sharing my culture with you! Thanks for sending youR fRequent flieR miles so I can take these vapid aRtistic excuRsions! Mahalo, Kan'non | | Thursday, August 23rd, 2007 | | 3:53 pm |
STURGIS!
i am GOING TO STURGIS for the first time! two Hell’s Angels friends of mine are going and they encouraged me to come along! i pretended to be poor and got free low-income tickets!! suckahs! i hope to take tons of lovely photos of the titty-flashing contest at Sturgis and meet wonderful biker gangs and tweak a little and dance naked around fire in bodypaint and make videos of myself pulling an Angel train! i can’t wait to rub my naked clitty against the bikers’ balls in a non-sexual, aRtistic way! i know that taking photos and videos of the gang bangs and making crank is against the rulez but i don’t have to have respect for others because i am an aRtist! what are those bikers gonna do, get mad? i hope i can handle it. i fear my clit might be overstimulated and will need to find some medical attention...away from groups of people. i will enjoy the nights i think...but gang bangs from bikers not sure? i won't know till i try it out! bringing several of those herpes meds and meth equipment and have a tent and a shady shelter canopy thingie...and a rag to wipe off all the semen from my cooch...go me!  | | Saturday, June 23rd, 2007 | | 4:42 pm |
I need to find my own peRsonal power and let go of needing "external validation". I want to keep expressing myself but I want to tune out what others think of me and just keep shaRing. My life is fractuRed and breaking apart and warped and bending and it's very painful and scaRy. Okay, tRuth be told, I’m pissed that, after a decade, my depRessed ramblings and monthly suicide threats just don’t draw all the sympathetic comments, fRee airline tickets and monetary donations they used to. I needed help to find a new schtick to pay the colonics bills, but my similarly self-absoRbed friend Vanatie Shrewg was busy birthing her own little welfare check. I decided to seek diRection from the ultimate goddess, Madonna. She’s such a Real sexually liberated aRtist and is always heRself. I’m sure heR manager, agent, marketing team, attoRneys, songwriters, stylists and publicists have nothing to do with her themes! I know Madonna doesn’t do her aRt for the money, because she’s a good Kaballah follower like me, and everyone knows that persons of Hebraic faiths are simple folk. Should I camp out next to her mansions in Miami, New YoRk, rural England, London or BeveRly Hills, I wondered. Since I’m a left coastie, I loaded up my Hello Kitty backpack and thumbed it to BeveRly! As soon as I arrived, I came across a mansion that gave me deja-vu, so I thought it was probably Madonna’s.  I painted my naked body green and began my performance Art. As I did my signature move—pulling a used tampon out of my Goddess Hole—the owners showed up, and it wasn’t Madonna!  “We-e-e-ll doggies,” the patriarch declared. “Uncle Jed! What SHRINGchronicity,” I said, trying to get on the good side of their shotguns. “I’m sort of a hillbilly myself because I love plants and animals, or so I like to blather!” “Ain’t ya that flim-flam floozie who spams her hoo-haw on that there internet? City gal, we’re fixin' ta' give ya a good country ass-whupping,” Ellie Mae yelled. The next thing I knew, Granny hit me over the head with her rolling pin! I awoke next the cement pond, where my green body paint was being scrubbed off with lye soap in a wooden tub by a bulldyke who only identified herself as Miss Jane.  How could they stRip me of my aRtistic identity like that? After a good switchin’ in the woodshed by Granny, Jethro tied me to a chair in the bil-yerd room and made me eat vittles deep fried in possum fat, despite that I requested organic tempeh seRved on whole grain bread with sprouts and soy mayonnaise. Miss Jane made googly eyes at me across the fancy eatin’ table while Aunt Pearl made me declare the Confederates won the Civil War! I was completely repulsed by this redneck makeover when I realized that here were the ultimate suckeRs to fund my aRt, much more profitable than all those poor horny saps in Milwaukee or wherever who just send me ten bucks eveRy month or so. I quickly confoRmed to the ways of the Clampett clan and began the ultimate mooch! My bedroom suite is next to Jethro’s. Go me! Who’d have thought this flaky pseudo-hippie could become so OzaRkian? Must go and feed the critters! | | Sunday, September 10th, 2006 | | 8:26 am |
Ya know, I'm really proud to be female, as you've probably figuRed out by my displays of my used feminine hygiene products and engoRged labia. I embrace my Inner Goddess, recognizing that my gender is a rare one in this world. I decided to attend the Water Women swim at the Fircrest Pool, a group for size-fRiendly women. I arrived to see a lot of female symbols and lots of Womyn Power signs. I love seeing womyn empoweRing womyn!  It was my first time in a heated lit up pool fully naked. It felt soooooooooooooooooo goooooooood to float free and swim naked with other womyn! My Goddess torso looked beautiful lit up in the turquoise water. My floating Milk Temples felt heavenly. I felt like a duck-billed platypus or sea turtle... dancing in the pool, legs spread. I love the way my pubic hair brushes up against my knees as it swims with me. I was floating along when suddenly I felt something in my Goddess Hole. I looked up to see a huge water dildo, held by none other than Fran, leader of Seattle Dykes on Bikes!  Fran introduced me to her friends Pat and Chris. We went into a private shower- all four of us and locked our door for privacy. We started with me in the center- they sensitively shoved huge Ben-Wa balls up my Moon Tunnel. It was so sacRed and spiRitual. We were all were making love in a non-sexual way, sharing eneRgy! As Fran and Chris tenderly shared a tRiple-headed dildo with me as Pat applied nipple clamps on our Milk Temples, I realized this was more tantra than "sex" for the sake of orgasm. This was true womyn-on-womyn love...what I call "whole grain" touch. Licking genitals is the best way to support one's gendeR, after all! Must pay Water Women fees so I can get more vaginal action! Send money! | | Thursday, June 29th, 2006 | | 10:59 am |
FuRRy PRide!
Like, I just got home from riding my tRicycle in the buff with my pals at the FuRRy PRide PaRade!  I'm so glad that with ouR nudity, we could lend suppoRt to this impoRtant cause: ending oppRession to those who go to conventions to dRess up like Yogi Bear befoRe gang-banging in a great big fur pile. As usual, I invited all my horny male subscRibers to my pay poRn site to come on out and take close-up photos of all the boobs, butts and bushes so I could post them again! For some reason, no other women showed up this yeaR to ride naked. I just can't imagine why. Like, Riding tRicycles in the buff is an impoRtant statement against motoRized vehicles and theiR waste of fossil fuels. We city people aRe so supeRioR to you subuRbanites and countRy bumpkins with your gas-guzzling caRs. Our half-empty, hulking busses and feRRies run on stRing cheese, or something. Oh no! I have a naked modeling job tomoRRow out in buRbs and the bus is too slow. Can one of you fans give me a Ride out theRe? Oh, and then there's that Wiccan gathering next week out in the foRRest and I can't walk that faR, can someone pick me up in their car for that too? Shalom!  | | Saturday, June 10th, 2006 | | 2:59 pm |
Rat City Roller GiRls= Anti-ARt!
I just can't believe the way people gossip about my self-care. I want to know I am valid and ok. I want SPACE AND ROOM to be myself. The world should kiss my ass every time I go out because it's amazing that I go out at all. This morning I went to what I thought would be a spiRitually positive annual event: World Naked Roller Derby Day! It was outside at Sand Point. Have I mentioned lately how much I love being naked outdoors, with all the tRees and animals? I was so excited that the Rat City Roller GiRls would be there again. I feel such a connection to roller derby girls, since we all have vaginas and those are so raRe. I just love how they affirm grrrrl power, ya know, by inflicting their female competitors with injuries.  Anyhoo, I invited the male subscribers of my poRn site to come out and photograph all the pretty slits just like they did last year! I mentioned it thRee times this week! I knew that the event alReady had its own official shutterbugs, but suRely a few hundred moRe would be welcome! SuRe enough, as soon as I skated up, there were five peRvert photographers for every naked skater! What aRtistic SHRINGchronicity! One even brought his vagina-cam, a big dildo-shaped camera, and got a great shot inside my fallopian tubes.  I began to show what a tRue aRtist I am by painting my labia with Native symbols. Okay, they were sorta Native-looking; I don't know jack about Native culture but pRetend to because it makes me look deep. My posse of pimply pervs quickly distributed themselves among the skaters, taking aRtistic close-up of the Girls' pubic hair, shouting "Nice tits!" and showing their general lack of social aptitude. You'd have thought that the Rat City Roller GiRls would have appreciated my getting the woRd out to all the nerdy camera-owning geeks of the Puget Sound but I was quickly accosted by a group of Girls, led by the angry Darth Skater.  Darth yelled, "Kannon, why must you attention-whore at every freakin' place you go? Aren't your public access show and daily droning on your website enough? You know, it's NOT all about you all the time. We said on our website, just like we told you last year, that we want real skaters here, not a bunch of peRvy asswipes!" With that, Rae's Hell and Kitty Kamakaze quickly pounded my face in the pavement, then grabbed a geek's camera and shoved it up my Moon Tunnel! Then Bonnie Collide kicked me in the ribs with her quad skates and Drew Blood threw me over railing that just happened to be nearby! Jowanna Ass Kickin' singlehandedly took on my three fans who stuck around. Such hostility for aRt, I can't believe it. It's just like those girls who were mean to me in high school just because I'm an aRtist. Life is sooooooo unfair to geniuses like me! Must get medical care. Send money!  | | Sunday, June 4th, 2006 | | 10:25 am |
The Museum of GlASS!
Like, I went down to the Tacoma Museum of Glass yesterday to look at that Czech glass exhibit. I wish those oppressive communist regimes would come back because they made some cool aRt back then.  I love the eneRgy that I get from other aRtists! Like, they inspiRe me, sort of how plants and animals do. (Have I blathered lately that I like plants and animals?) So, I came across two 10-inch cylinders by some dude named Václav Cigler.  Such simplicity, such verve! This was the perfect chance to meld visual aRt with my peRfoRmance aRt! I opened the case holding the cylinders, lifted my grass skirt, and inserted one cylinder into my Goddess Hole and the other into my Moon Tunnel, in a non-sexual aRtistic way of course. As the crowd gathered, I sang my favorite Tori Anus song while I thrust the aRt in and out of my spiRitual cavities. Soon, theRe was audio accompaniment to my act as bells and whistles went off around the museum. A group of guaRds ran in to witness my aRtistic genius and summon more fans on their walkie-talkies! I was really connecting to my audience until the Tacoma police showed up and rode me downtown! My boyfriend Wayne, I mean Mountain Spring, had to put his meth equipment into hock to bail me out! Man, those people at the Tacoma PD just don't appreciate peRfoRmance aRtists! We're geniuses and they just don't get it. Need lots of cash to clean the cylinders with Lysol, steel wool and an autoclave, or else the museum will press charges. As usual, send money! Namaste! | | Friday, May 5th, 2006 | | 9:14 am |
Gay Pianist ARtists!
Like, being gay is so aRtistic. All the best aRtists are bottom bois. I feel so spiRitually connected to all gay aRtists of the world! I live in the gay paRt of town. That proves I'm so enlightened. I wish I could have been boRn a gay male. Maybe I'd have more talent. I love gay pianists!! Barry Manilow  Elton John  And, of course...  Perry Joslin seems a little Friend-of-Dorothy too.  LEONARD BERNSTEIN!  Think this pianist, FRANÇOIS DEBAECKER, is gay, or just French? He plays Judy Garland, Barbra Streisand and show tunes.  Namaste! | | Thursday, April 20th, 2006 | | 2:24 pm |
Cirque du So-Lame!
Like, the whole aRt modeling thing is getting sooooooo old. How much longer do I wanna show my snatch to a bunch of goth 20-year-old Art Institute students bound for gainful employment at Dairy Queen and $45,000 student loans to pay off? I know that my multi-media aRt, whatever that is, is destined for audiences worldwide! So, I decided to audition for Cirque du Soleil. After scamming frequent flyer miles from one of my suckers, er, readers, I flew off to Vegas for an open audition. All the other auditioners were such wannabes. An Olympic gymnast doing triple-twists in the air. A Russian juggling five folding chairs at once. Some Chinese balancing act with nine people stacked on a bicycle. Such amateurs! I took the stage in my green body paint and rolled around singing Tori Anus lyrics for a couple of minutes, smearing the floor in green goo. I then recited my awesome dialog: "I'm a woman. Being a woman is like being a vanilla bean. So spicy, so rare, so SASSY! I am the vanilla bean of the world!" Then I pulled a vanilla bean out of my menstruating vagina and flung it into the crowd!  The audience was stunned by my talent until the director asked me, "We're on a time limit, can you get to your skill?" Skill? Didn't she know genius when she saw it? I didn't make the second round of auditions. Can you believe it? That Franco bitch cut me! Cirque du So-Lame just doesn't know talent and aRt!  Namaste! Send money (and laptops, cars and frequent flyer miles)! | | Saturday, March 18th, 2006 | | 8:58 am |
Screw Bamboo!
As I've blathered before, I just lovvvvvvve going to the Seattle zoo. I have such a tantric connection to the animal world. I love taking poorly-lit, gRainy photos of incarcerated animals under the guise of aRt!  The other day when I went there, a bunch of those humane people were outside protesting the zoo's treatment of Bamboo the elephant. Those uppity people are upset that she's chained by the leg 20 hours a day, chewing away at herself and neurotically jerking her head around all day. They want to pay all the costs to transport her to some 3,000 acre elephant sanctuary somewhere outside Seattle, wheRe I can't easily go in my car-less state. Like, why must these uppity animal-people try to kill my aRtistic gRoove? If they put Bamboo somewhere that she might actually have space, she won't be around as my aRtistic photogRaphy subject anymore. Don't they know that human decency has no place in aRtistic pursuit? These people are like those uppity child-people who tell my aRtistic boyfriend he needs to pay his child support instead of webcam all day. Won't someone think about the aRtists?  http://www.narn.org/FreeBamboo/youcanhelp.html | | Friday, February 17th, 2006 | | 7:47 am |
Erotic, Erratic Art!
My lover/aRt partner Mountain Spring and I made an erotic UTAH SACRED POLYGAMY UNDERWEAR video tonight and uploaded it to my pay site for members!  It's visually very SeXuAL with the audio being me playing the cigar-box banjo and Mountain on the bongo drums. It's not your typical cliche porn. It's more homemade and natural and genuine with nice lighting and nice MuSiC by me! For example, I have five well-endowed African-American men ejaculate on my face in a show of racial haRmony! My aRt can really improve the world. So far, i have 3 members...I am so grateful. It's fun to share my erratic, erotic aRt. Namaste! Send money! | | Sunday, February 5th, 2006 | | 6:51 pm |
Reunited and it feels SO GOOD!
Good news, my Mountain Spring called me from San Antonio yesterday, and our spiRits are giving it another go together. He foRgave me for the whole Utah polygamy thing last month. He's so handsome!  Mountie’s babymamas are becoming a real dRag, wanting him to pay his shaRe for his kids’ food and medicine, so he’s selling his meth equipment and heading up here to Seattle. Why do fools torture aRtists by demanding responsibility to their kids? I’m going to help him hide in Seattle, I mean, we’re going to create great aRt together! Mountie and I have SO MUCH in common with the great aRtists Yoko Ono and John Lennon: Mountie and John are (were) both: Uncircumcised hirsutes Deadbeat dads Convicted felons Addicted to illegal substances Violent rageaholics  Yoko and I are both:Hairy Self-impressed with recordings of ourselves screeching Minimally talented hacks Incoherent babblers Tantrically enlightened (read: slutty)  We are all:Self-absorbed Hygienically challenged Living in tax-subsidized city apartments Convinced we discovered nudity in aRt  Such SHRINGchronicity! Mountie and I are just FABULOUS aRtists! Namaste! Send money! | | Friday, January 27th, 2006 | | 10:00 pm |
I'm so multicultuRal!
I'm not just a vapid whitey who thinks that Europe is the only foReign place to visit. Like, I'm really into learning, ya know, weird mud-people cultures because it makes me a better aRtist. Asian aRt is a special influence. I like all that silk and jade and stuff. Besides, I think sweet n' sour pork is yummy! I just made a new Asian friend! Meet Choo, who just moved next door to me!  I can tell that Choo is really flattered that I know about his cultuRe. When he told me he was from Singapore, I asked where that is in China. He was so touched by my interest, he stood with his mouth agape! On Thursday I took Choo to TGIFriday's, and I knew exactly what stuff his people eat, so I ordered for him without having to ask him first. He cried when I told the waiter he wanted the Potstickers and Crispy Asian Chicken Salad! How sweet! Think he might be GAYsian?  I keep up on Asian news so I can make conversation with Choo. I think the Vietnam War was really uncool even though Pol Pot's still a mean guy. Choo was amazed when I said I was glad that the Great Wall of China was torn down at the end of the Cold War and so that East and West China could become one again.  I think I'll ask Choo if he knows the Ancient Chinese Secret for getting my laundry really clean. I heard his people work for like a dollar a day and have really good work ethics. I could focus on my aRt while he cleans my apaRtment and cooks my dinner! Hope he won't try to boil my cat though, LOL! Send money! Domo Arigato! | | Thursday, January 26th, 2006 | | 9:59 am |
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kannonshrigen's journal
